It’s-a-ghoul-human-thing
by Ltheslytherin
Summary: Kaneki loses more and more parts of himself, more and more of him is being eaten, both literally and metaphorically. 'I wasn't the one eating ghouls, the ghouls were eating me.' Well, I took that a little more than literally and made a story of it. In which a sick, 10 year old Kaneki is found by a group of investigators. Drama ensues. And in the end it's Hide who solves it all.
1. Child

**A/N: Well, this story was written on a whim, it's really just a random idea that popped into my head. So... it's not like it has a storyline or anything...**

**Summary:**

**'I wasn't the one eating ghouls, the ghouls were eating me.'**

**Well, I took that a little more than literally and made a story of it.**

**In which a sick, 10 year old Kaneki is found by a group of investigators.**

**Drama ensues.**

**And in the end it's Hide who solves it all.**

**Most characters have kind of OOC moments**, **especially Kaneki, being a child and all.**

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: self harm, a bit of suicidal ideation, references to child abuse**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters.**

Shinohara entered the laboratory-like building. A cold shiver ran down his spine as his eyes traveled to the several dead bodies-ghoul bodies-scattered on the floor.

He surveyed the spacious room while further invading it. The fear he and his comrades exuded was practically palpable.

The room, however, wasn't merely inhabited by the dead.

There appeared to be one living creature: a dangerous looking ghoul - at least S rated - who was sporting a kagune that looked like a centipede.

He was muttering to himself, which scared Shinohara. He looked insane, unhinged and somehow like every coherent part of his brain had been eaten. All of this only managed to heighten the danger factor.

Shinohara expected to be attacked any second now. He lifted his quinque ready to defend himself, determined to-

but suddenly the ghoul's kagune just disappeared.

And not only that: His whole demeanour changed drastically too.

All of the sudden, the ghoul didn't seem to have enough energy to hold himself upright and fell to his knees.

All investigators watched with baited breaths as sobs wrecked the ghoul's skinny body.

"Why? Weak...ghouls... protecting friends..." he continued to mutter similar words which-if he were a human being-would indicate hopelessness, fear and... giving up.

"...all Kano's fault. Kano,"

Suddenly sadness turned into fury and frustration.

"Fuck you Kano!" he cursed angrily, jumping to his feet, running in a certain direction.

"Wait!" Shinohara called out, running after him. He needed to know what exactly this place was and what this ghoul knew about Kano.

Why he thought he could talk to this ghoul, he didn't know.

He seemed approachable...?

He put it off to just desperately needing information.

He hadn't expected the ghoul to stop dead in his tracks and look back at him with fear in his eyes, in his seemingly human eyes. He heard his fellow investigators gasp as they took in the ghoul's features.

They didn't often see ghouls without their masks outside of cochlea- and there was mostly only contempt or anger to decipher on the monsters' faces.

But this was the face of a ghoul who seemed to be showing raw emotions that didn't entail any of those.

The ghoul displayed powerful emotions like fear, sadness and resignation for a moment before putting on a mask (an emotional one) in order to hide them. He also looked terrifyingly young. Between 10 and 12...

Too young to be this powerful, but you could never know with ghouls.

That hadn't caused the gasp though.

There was something about him that they had never seen on a ghoul before, not even in chochlea or anywhere else.

They hadn't thought it was possible for a ghoul to become this way, unless after death of course.

The boy's face was sunken in, his cheekbones sticking out, rings around his grey eyes.

And as he stood there, probably without him noticing, the child's body started to disappear...

No.

It wasn't his body, it was more like an... Arata. But as it disappeared, there was nothing left. Only skin and bones covered in a layer of black clothing.

He shivered and put his arms around himself for protection of a cold breeze that wasn't there.

This ghoul was severely malnourished. To a point where most humans would be dead or knocking on death's door.

But ghouls couldn't get like this. It wasn't possible.

Even if they didn't eat, they just didn't lose that much weight. There was something that healed them, made them strong, kept them alive.

There were skinny ghouls, yes. Especially in Cochlea.

But none like this.

Extreme starvation caused their bodies to give up before they lost this much weight.

Ghouls' bodies worked in a weird way. They shut down completely before they got too weak.

His predicament made this ghoul look unbearably human.

"What do you want?" asked the skeletal boy in a childishly high, trembling voice.

For a moment, there was a flicker of surprise on his face, as though he hadn't expected to sound like that.

But it was gone before Shinohara had time to ponder it.

The boy shook his head in what appeared to be disappointment, gritting his teeth and hugging himself tighter.

Shinohara's eyes widened. Vulnerable... that's what he was.

Another thing usually attributed to humans.

He cleared his throat. "We came here looking for Kano," he said. "Do you know where he is?"

He realised he wasn't talking as if to a monster, but more like to an injured and frightened animal.

Well, that was what he looked like.

Traumatised... but what could 'traumatise' a ghoul. Was that even possible...?

"Why do you want to know?" The ghoul asked defensively. "What is the CCG doing here?"

"We have suspicions of Kano transplanting ghoul organs into a human," There was a flash of recognition in the ghoul's eyes. "And wanted to question him about it. This was his most likely hiding place."

Shinohara looked around. They never had expected to find this.

There was a bitter laugh coming from the ghoul.

"He was here, you've just missed the bastard."

It became obvious from the abundance of venom in his voice that this boy didn't think too highly of Kano.

Suddenly, there was movement behind them and Amon appeared followed by a limping Akira. They both turned their eyes towards the white-haired boy, then they looked wide-eyed towards Shinohara.

Shinohara shook his head and asked them to stay back.

Meanwhile the boy tensed and took small steps back.

"We won't hurt you as long as you answer our questions."

Shinohara promised gently.

The kid seemed hurt enough.

The boy continued to slowly distance himself.

Shinohara threw his weapon away and lifted his hands in demonstration. "See?"

The boy just sighed and wore a resigned expression which looked misplaced on his young face. His arms remained crossed and he seemed to retreat further into himself.

But at least he remained in one place now.

"What is it that you want to ask?"

Everyone seemed surprised that he actually agreed to this.

"What is your relation to Kano?"

The ghoul snorted and shook his head.

For a moment it looked like he wouldn't answer, until he said, "He is the person that ruined my life." The sincerity behind those words was shocking.

Amon's mouth actually hung open. Their feelings hung in the air. Even Yuzoo who had just joined them quietly (?!?) seemed intrigued.

"Could you elaborate?" Amon asked.

"No... I should be running after him..." he muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You look in no condition to be running anywhere." Akira stated matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean?!" The boy snapped, tensing.

"There is a high danger of a heart attack with any type of exercise in your condition."

Shinohara looked at Akira in surprise. She actually seemed concerned for the ghoul.

Probably because she didn't know he was one...

"I AM A GHOUL!" The child screamed.

Well, that misunderstanding was resolved. "I'm not weak anymore." He whispered in a broken voice.

Before Akira could react to the revelation of his ghoulity, the boy started sprinting towards the exit determinedly as if to prove his point.

But he ended up doing the exact opposite.

The child started slowing down when he was about halfway there, putting a hand to his chest. His erratic breathing and swaying body were another indicator of the falling to the ground that followed.

The investigators couldn't stop themselves from running towards the limp body in alarm.


	2. Doctor

Shinohara, Akira and Amon were on their way to a CCG hospital room.

They had just been notified of the boy's awakening. They agreed on not telling anyone about him being a ghoul and just told everyone they had found him in Kano's estate. Hopefully, his doctor wouldn't notice the boy's ghoulish abilities.

Luckily, he seemed to be too weak for them to kick in anyway.

It was easy to believe that he was human. Too easy.

They would only keep up the lie until they questioned him.

This mysterious ghoul held a lot of valuable information and therefore needed to live. In his condition, he would have died in Cochlea.

Or at least that was their justification for the decision.

They had been informed of the minor heart attack the boy had suffered due to severe malnutrition.

The doctor and the investigators were equally surprised, though not for the same reasons.

While Kenji-san was astounded by the 'minor' part, they were baffled by the 'heart attack' part. A ghoul having a medical condition...? It somehow seemed like... a human problem yet again.

The doctor continued talking while leading them to his room.

"It's not advisable to interrogate my patient in this condition." The 'my' sounded very protective.

"What do you mean?" Amon frowned.

The doctor just stared at him like he had grown another head.

"He had obviously been through a lot of trauma." he stated, looking at each of the investigators. At their confused looks, a sigh escaped the doctor's lips.

"I didn't call you directly after his awakening, because I know the way you operate."

He glared at every single one of them, then continued. "I had enough time to observe his behaviour. He was terrified of needles and tensed subconsciously whenever I got near him. Obvious indicators of some sort of traumatic event."

The investigators exchanged looks at that. "Other than that, through thorough observation there are perceivable symptoms of depression, though for a proper diagnosis more time is needed."

Before they could ask about the nature of these symptoms, the doctor (and also psychiatrist of the CCG) released another somber sigh as though merely saying his next sentence would cost him a great deal. He lowered his voice before speaking, "We found evidence of self harming." All of the investigators' jaws dropped. They were shocked into silence. This must've been the most peculiar ghoul they had ever encountered. "On his legs, mostly ties. It looks like he's been engaging in self destructive behaviour for a while now." A short pause, most likely destined to let the severity of the situation sink in.

"I recommend immediate therapy.

As I have said already, the child is in no condition to have a serious interrogation, but I am aware that there is little I can do about it." The doctor shot them a disdainful look.

"Are there any remaining guardians for the child?"

The investigators exchanged more looks.

They didn't even know his identity. "...No." Shinohara answered. It seemed like the right answer.

The doctor looked genuinely saddened at that information.

"Poor kid."

He said softly as he opened a hospital room door, where they would be meeting an SS-rated ghoul.


	3. Ken

On the bed lay a severely underweight child that had restrains on both his bony wrists.

"We needed to restrain him in order to be able to reinsert the IV drip delivering his nutrients" The doctor explained quietly after following their gazes.

His body appeared to be extremely small and swallowed up by the big hospital bed.

Wearing only a white hospital gown, he looked even younger (9? 10? years old) and even smaller than the last time the investigators had seen him. It was impossible not to feel sorry for him.

The doctor warned them to be gentle, then hurried to his next destination.

The boy propped himself up on his elbows, staring at them expectantly. He obviously tried not to show how hard this little movement was for him.

"Are you absolutely certain that he is a ghoul?" Akira asked Shinohara disbelievingly under her breath. She had already heard his story, but understandably couldn't believe it. It would change her entire viewpoint of the monsters. She didn't sound like she expected an answer.

"We wanted to talk to you." Shinohara said, taking one of the seats next to his bed.

No response.

The ghoul looked at all three of them individually. The last one, the one the farthest away, was Amon.

The boy's eyes widened as he took in Amon's appearance.

"What is it?" Amon asked defensively. The boy quickly averted his eyes and studied the white bedsheets.

"It's nothing..." He paused for a moment, probably to ponder how much information to reveal. "It's just that I've met you before.. we fought once." he muttered uncertainly, as if expecting to be rejected.

Amon's brows furrowed in bewilderment. "I can't remember fighting you... What's your mask like?" His voice seemed to automatically have taken on a much gentler tone at seeing the boy look so insecure.

"Well...It's black and has an eyepatch an-"

"Eyepatch?!? That was you?!" Amon asked incredulously. The child flinched at Amon's outburst.

"...Sorry..." Amon said, but the boy just shook his head and sat up slowly and pulled his knees to his chest. The restrains on his arms were still in place, lying next to his legs. "But you were different.

I mean your body didn't look like this," he gestured at the boy.

Said boy laid his head on his knees and muttered,

"Yeah." The bitter self-loathing tone sounded misplaced, especially coming from such a young child's mouth.

He had definitely been through a lot.

The boy balled his hands into tight fists, his fingernails digging into his palms.

It looked painful and Shinohara felt a natural desire to prevent the child from harming himself. This was probably gained from his experience from Yuzoo who still acted like a child.

The boy tensed as he approached him.

He slowed down a bit and started to gently pry the boy's fingers away from his palm.

At the touch the boy flinched and looked up at him with big startled eyes. Then, he seemed to automatically turn his head away from him, giving off a resigned impression.

When the small hand was finally uncurled, he took a step back. The boy relaxed his tense stance a bit at that, but still looked like he expected (and accepted) to be hit any second. He didn't even seem to be aware of doing it.

Shinohara exchanged another look with the other two investigators.

It seemed like all this secrecy made them capable of conversing through facial expressions alone.

Though she would never have admitted it, Akira's eyes reflected the same sympathy Amon's and Shinohara's showed.

They had encountered these cases before (in humans) and the boy's behaviour ever since they had met him indicated as much.

This ghoul... child had been put through a lot and had learned to expect the worst of people (however subconsciously).

"So, you're eyepatch huh?" Amon asked awkwardly, probably in order to fill the uncomfortable silence.

Eyepatch merely nodded.

"You were...I don't mean to offend you, but you seemed taller."

This only got a shrug from the boy.

There was further silence. They weren't used to questioning ghouls like this.

No, not with the ghoul in such a vulnerable state in a hospital bed. It almost seemed wrong to question him when he obviously needed time to heal.

"Did you catch any other ghouls in Kano's lab?" The boy asked abruptly, still not meeting any of their eyes.

His voice was laced with concern and anxiety that he was trying to conceal to no avail.

"No." Amon said . Normally he wouldn't have answered a ghoul, but he seemed so...damaged...that he felt a desire to protect him from further harm. It was in order to prevent distress for the sake of the investigation...or that was what he told himself.

Eyepatch released a relieved sigh, some of the tension leaving him.

Shinohara cleared his throat. "So, we brought you here, because you seem to know Kano." Understanding flashed the boy's eyes. "You said it was his fault you are in this predicament. Could you tell us more about it?" He spoke in a patient tone he would have used with any average child.

The boy appeared to be considering this when he suddenly paled and looked like he was about to puke.

Which, as it turned out, indeed he was.

Luckily, he managed to frantically gesture towards the bucket on the table next to Akira beforehand. She held it to him without hesitation. Since he couldn't really hold it himself, she continued to do it for him.

Once he stopped throwing up some kind of sticky substance, he apologised profusely and let the bucket be taken away from him.

"Does this happen often?" Amon asked in mingled disgust and pity.

The child just shrugged again. He still looked sheepish for having needed assistance. He glanced at the IVs attached to him.

"It's because of the feeding tube and all the other nutrients they pump into your system." The realisation hit Shinohara. "Ghouls can't take that."

Why hadn't the boy said anything? Why had he chosen to endure the pain instead of asking for help?

Most children, heck beings, wouldn't have done so.

"How did they even manage to stick those needles into you?"

He shrugged again.

"Could you answer verbally please." Akira said sternly, but not lacking kindness (in comparison to her usual ways).

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm in this weakened condition." The boy generally didn't seem to be able to meet their eyes. Was it because he was lying, or was he afraid of what he would find there?

Shinohara tried to remove the injections as gently as he could, then pressed a tissue to the ones that had started bleeding.

All the while red color rushed to the boy's face while he thanked him and apologised profusely.

"How did it come to that?" Amon inquired eagerly. "To your weakened condition I mean."

They were all interested in that.

Eyepatch hesitated, then shrugged before he remembered Akira's reprimand from before. "I don't know." But this time he definitely knew something.

"Telling us will help your case." Akira offered.

The child blinked up at her uncomprehendingly. "You"re not just going to kill me? Or throw me into Cochlea?"

Shinohara didn't know why, but somehow he felt ashamed. He felt indignation at such terrible accusations and wanted to deny that they would ever do that to a child... but he couldn't. Because he knew it was the truth. They had done it before.

"You don't seem concerned." Akira pointed out. Shinohara had been too focused on the words themselves to realise THAT. But even now, the boy was calm. Calmer than he had been for the rest of their conversation.

He just shrugged, then looked at Akira fearfully, as if he was afraid of being punished for not giving a verbal answer. He hurried to say, "It's inevitable. You're the CCG and I'm a ghoul." He shrugged again, completely indifferent about his own possible death.

"You mean you don't care if you die?" Akira read between the lines.

He seemed to like shrugging. "Not really." He said with a small smile, looking like this was the most normal thing to say.

"What do you mean 'you don't care'!?" Amon burst out in sudden anger, startling everyone in the room. But no one was more surprised by it than eyepatch.

He even looked up at Amon in confusion. "You don't make any sense!" Amon explained, angrily pacing around the room. "You let me live even if I'm your enemy and a human, but you wanna kill yourself-"

"I don't-"

"And you're a ghoul. So are ghouls bad now?!"

"Amon you-" Akira tried to placate him, but without success.

Amon seemed to be getting more and more agitated by the second. "Answer me!"

"No! That's not what I meant and I don't wanna kill myself." He said as he automatically moved his hand towards his face, but was stopped from touching it due to the restraints. Strange...

"You didn't have to say that. Your behaviour and the scars on your ties speak for you!"

"Amon" Shinohara warned, but Amon was unstoppable.

This had been brewing under the surface for a while now, by the likes of it.

The boy paled and looked on the verge of another heart attack that he wouldn't even mind.

"You're not the eyepatch I met!" He yelled. "What in the world has happened to you?! What has made you like this?! Huh?!" He asked in mingled desperation and anger.

This boy had been something akin to his hope for better understanding the world.

The child stayed silent for a moment, his nails digging into his fists again.

"Sorry." He said quietly, lying down and studying the ceiling. He looked too exhausted to be sitting upright anymore.

He looked exhausted in general.

These observations and the boy's apology for Amon's yelling woke him from his tirade.

It was the broken and truly apologetic whisper of a child. It wasn't his fault that he was like this;

he had been MADE this way.

And this was just a child, not someone to be mad at.

Why hadn't he realised before just how young eyepatch had been?

Hmmm...The darkness had hid his body and the mask had probably changed the boy's voice.

Anyways... he couldn't let all his frustrations with the world and doubts about the CCG out on a boy that seemed so hurt already.

He was properly ashamed now. He shook his head. He was too embarrassed to apologise.

Luckily, Shinohara chose that moment to interrupt the tense silence.

"You're right.

Normally any ghoul would be brought to Cochlea or eliminated right away. But you're a special case in more ways than one." He waited for a moment; waited for it to sink in.

"You are surprisingly the youngest person we have captured yet.

Children aren't often encountered... and if they are, we eliminate them as painlessly as possible on the spot. They don't usually have useful information." He explained, trying not to sound like a monster.

But those kids had been ghouls so it was alright, wasn't it?

"So, I'm gonna be killed after I give you this information." The boy concluded.

"Not necessarily," Akira said matter-of-factly. "As Shinohara said; you're a unique case in more ways than one. Not only because of your age, but also because of your condition. This has never been seen before."

The boy didn't seem to believe he wouldn't die, but still wasn't any more worried about that than before. He just changed the topic.

"So, what do you want to know?" he asked in a small voice, focusing on his lap once again.

"We'd like to know about your relation to Kano." Shinohara repeated gently.

"Uhm...well... I'm not sure if you'll believe me." The boy responded uncertainly.

"Try us." Akira urged.

"It might help someone." Shinohara added. The boy nodded looking more determined now.

They had already realised how often he had put the welfare of others over his own. It was yet another thing to add to the list of oddities this ghoul possessed.

A ghoul only thinking about others? They had always thought of ghouls as selfish, but this child seemed to be the least self-concerned person they had ever met.

Whether that was healthy or not was another matter.

"So I...

Do you remember the incident where Kano decided to transplant the organs of a girl into that of an injured boy?"

They all nodded.

"Well, that girl was a ghoul and I was that boy." He said bluntly. He didn't like beating around the bush, apparently.

Well, they hadn't expected that.

"So you're Kaneki Ken?" Amon spoke disbelievingly for the first time since his outburst.

The boy merely nodded.

They pondered this for a minute, until Akira spoke,

"But Kaneki Ken is 19 and you can't be older than 10."

"I don't exactly understand how that happened,

but I really am Kaneki Ken. You can take my fingerprints if you want to." He offered, then he went on in a dead and somehow hopeful voice,

"And now you can treat me like any other ghoul you've encountered." How did he come to that conclusion?

The child- Ken - seemed tired and hopeless, it was heartbreaking.

It was surprisingly Akira who spoke next.

"Now that we know you were human once, your situation has become even more unique.

Besides, just because you were 19 once doesn't mean you're not a child now.

"Even though you still have your memories your behaviour might be more like that of a child," she continued, "Do you really have no idea what could have caused you to become like this? I presume your malnourishment and deaging are linked."

"Yes they are," Kaneki said, nodding. He seemed to have decided to tell them what he knew now that he realised how useless trying to point out the reasons why they should kill him was. "It didn't happen at first, but after a while I began noticing...changes."

The boy went silent again.

"Do you now what could have caused these changes?" Shinohara prompted patiently.

"Well, actually I realised pretty soon that it was because I was eating ghouls." It took a moment for that information to sink in.

"You mean to tell me you... you became like this because of cannibalism?" Amon asked incredulously. "Or whatever it is..." he added after remembering that Kaneki wasn't completely a ghoul.

"There are a few known cases of cannibalism among ghouls, but this has never occurred before or at least hasn't been reported," Akira stated, "So this must have been caused by your unique status as a former human."

She was positively intrigued now. There was a mystery to solve.

"How long have you been consuming ghouls?" Shinohara asked.

"A few months."

"You said you realised early on what it did to you. Why didn't you stop then?" Akira questioned.

"Well... uhh... I guess it wasn't that serious...and I wanted to become stronger... and I didn't really care what price I had to pay for that, even if..."

"It is your life." Amon stated, this time without any anger. It sounded more like a sad unchangeable realisation.

The child just shrugged in response. "Over time I lost more and more weight. It almost seemed like the ghouls I consumed were eating me," he said nonchalantly. "Then about a month ago, I started becoming younger... and remembering things from when I was younger..." He shook his head as if that way he could magically rid himself of those memories. "I started getting younger and younger. At first slowly, but then over the past few days it has become really fast.

He went on, "I feel more like I used to at this age.

I have the same instincts and feelings and the memories of that time seem more present. Though my other memories haven't diminished at all either."

The boy didn't seem too happy about this development:

Neither about his clear childhood memories, nor about his other memories staying vivid.

If these instincts were from his childhood as a human, did that mean something had happened to him as a child? Was he raised this way? The boy seemed to be trying awfully hard not to offend them, burden them or do something wrong. Had this come from childhood or adolescence? Or both?

"I still have white hair though." The boy tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. So the white hair wasn't a reminder of a happy memory either.

It was questionable if he even had any.

Before anyone could even think of a reaction to Ken's story or even try to remotely process it, an outraged nurse stormed in.

She tried to keep her composure in front of the child, but when she realised the missing IVs that were meant to provide him with the nutrients that were essential to his survival, she snapped.

"Why aren't his IVs in anymore?" She asked in a dangerous voice as she made her way towards the boy to reinsert them.

"Ma'am we would like to ask you to stop right there." Said one of the male investigators. She couldn't believe them! The audacity! Endangering a child's life. Before she could articulate her outrage, however, the only other woman in the room spoke.

"He has a terrible fear of needles,"

That was the first excuse that came to Akira's mind and it wasn't a good one. She hurried to add, "And he was infected by a ghoul's disease which makes him reject all types of nutrients." She gestured towards the bucket that still hadn't been emptied of the boy's puke. That should prove her point.

"But how are we going to deal with-" the nurse spluttered in shock.

Amon was all too glad to chime in to the lie. "The CCG has specialists for this disease," He said, attempting an assuring smile. "We can move him there today."

They all knew that they would never do that, but they needed to take him away from the doctors. They just didn't know where.

"But he is in no condition to go anywhere!" The nurse exclaimed indignantly. "He needs a lot of professional help before that, both for his physical and psychological well-being!"

"If we don't move him now, he's going to die," Shinohara joined in too. He tried to sound grave, which wasn't all that hard. Just one look at the boy could help with that. "Rest assured, the CCG is going to provide him with the help he needs."

The woman still seemed distrustful, but the 'dying' part seemed to have convinced her.

"This needs to be discussed with the doctor immediately," she said, moving towards the door.

"Of course." Shinohara nodded.

"Follow me." She commanded and left.

The three investigators looked back to Ken, who was curled up on his side examining the bedpost. He seemed blank and unconcerned about his future.

"We'll be back." Shinohara didn't know what it was that made him say it, but he didn't really care.

Both of the others nodded sincerely before leaving the room, hurrying after the nurse.

Kaneki wouldn't have believed it, but he got three ghoul investigators to care for him and made them reconsider their more than rigid opinions about ghouls.


	4. Hide

"What's happened to you?"

Kaneki startled at the voice. He would recognise that voice anywhere. But he couldn't be... How did he find him? He couldn't be here.

But he really was here and Kaneki felt like crying.

"Wh-what are you doing here H-hide?" He asked, cursing his childish voice for coming off so pathetic.

Hide sat down on the chair next to his bed.

Kaneki averted his eyes. He couldn't look at Hide. Not in this sorry state he was in.

Not Kaneki still being a ghoul, white haired and a weak child.

"What's with the camera?" Hide asked in an attempt at lighthearted conversation.

Kaneki shrugged. "I guess it's to keep an eye on me."

Hide knew it was actually because the investigators were afraid of Kaneki doing harm to himself while they were at work.

"How much did they tell you?" Kaneki asked, focusing on his hands. He looked so young...

Being younger had really changed his best friend. Or maybe it was a combination of his age and what he had been through since they had last seen each other.

It didn't matter to Hide anyway. He was just glad they were together again.

"Everything they know," It was better to be honest now. Maybe then he could get Kaneki to open up more.

"But I already knew."

Kaneki looked up at him, his impossibly big eyes in his small face widening even more.

Hide told him how he knew and what he had been doing since Kaneki's disappearance. But most importantly he told him that he didn't care about Kaneki being different. All the while, Kaneki clung to his every word, not once interrupting him.

"And I won't be in danger, because of being with you," He silenced Kaneki's foreseeable protests by holding up a hand. "I'll be in danger because I decide to be, because I care about you. A lot." His voice shook a bit at that, but he tried to keep control of his emotions. It wouldn't do to startle Kaneki when he was so ill.

"It wouldn't be your fault." He almost tried to hug Kaneki, but he knew from the investigators and personal childhood experiences that Kaneki didn't do well with touch.

Hide knew Kaneki's mom was to blame for that. If he had the chance to go back in time only once, he would go back to improve Kaneki's childhood. It had fucked up a lot about Kaneki's attitude towards life and himself.

Even if he had been good at hiding it.

"Besides," Hide smiled. "I would be in more danger if you left me alone. You know," Kaneki spoke the next part in synch with him. "Rabits die of loneliness." Kaneki almost smiled at that, but his expression soon fell again.

He was silent for a moment, then he seemed to gather courage to say something.

"Why?" Was the single word that came out of Kaneki's mouth. And Hide knew it wasn't about bunnies.

"Because you're worth it," Hide spoke the truth and he wished so much that Kaneki wouldn't look so surprised at it.

"You'll believe it eventually."

But that would take a while. And talking about it made Kaneki uncomfortable.

He should change the topic for now.

"You have a nice room here." Hide leaned back in his chair in order to be in a more relaxed position.

Kaneki blushed at that. "I don't know why Amon-san let me have his bed," he explained, rubbing the back of his head, the ever sheepish smile in place. "I told him I would sleep on the floor or somewhere else entirely, but he just ignored it."

"I don't know how, but you really managed to wrap these investigators around your finger," Hide said suggestively. "Even stern Akira has fallen for you.

I've been trying to achieve that for ages!" He whined. "And as a kid too. How is that fair?"

Kaneki rolled his eyes and chuckled at Hide's antics. It felt good to be around him again.

There was silence for a while, both of them lost in their thoughts.

"What's going to happen now?" Kaneki asked. It was the question weighing most on his mind since being brought here instead of Cochlea three days ago.

(He couldn't bother the investigators with his questions after all they had gone through for him, so he had remained silent.)

"I don't know." Hide answered. "But it's going to get better."

Kaneki didn't know why, but hearing Hide say it with such sincerity made him finally believe it.


End file.
